How to Prevent Overtiredness
If you’re a new parent, overtiredness is about to become your arch enemy. If you’ve been at this parenting gig for a while, you know what I’m talking about. Overtiredness can make your sweet, happy, easygoing baby seem like a different child in the blink of an eye. It can cause major sleep disruption and major meltdowns. The good thing is that it’s easily preventable, when you have the right tools and information.
One important factor to understand is that we all have a natural body clock, known as a circadian rhythm. This clock is controlled by the brain and cycles between alertness and sleepiness on a regular schedule. Our brains secrete two hormones that affect our body clocks: melatonin and cortisol. Melatonin makes us drowsy and helps us prepare for sleep, and cortisol makes us alert and ready to tackle whatever comes our way. Our circadian rhythms work best when we have regular sleep schedules. When your little one stays awake past their regular sleep time, their body clock assumes there is an important reason for staying awake and releases more cortisol to help them stay alert.
Overtiredness looks very different in new babies, toddlers and adults. As adults, we typically feel draggy, cranky, and lack motivation when we’re low on sleep. Newborns usually become fussy and difficult to settle when they’re overtired. And toddlers exhibit a whole other host of behaviours when they’re sleep deprived. They often get a “second wind”; they get the giggles and seem very happy or even manic for a period of time before the crankiness and meltdowns kick in.
Now that you know the physiological reasons for overtiredness, what can you do to prevent it?
Respect daytime sleep
One of the most important things you can do is honor your child’s daytime sleep requirements, which vary with age. Newborn babies sleep about 18 hours out of a 24 hour period, and that need gradually decreases until toddlers are ready to drop their last daytime nap around the age of three. It isn’t always easy to prioritize daytime sleep, especially if you have older children with school pick-ups and drop-offs, work outside of your home, or like most of us, need to get groceries, go to medical appointments, and maybe even squeeze in some time for yourself!
It may seem counter-intuitive, but sleep begets sleep. The more well-rested your babe is during the day, the better they will sleep at night. An overtired child will have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep for long stretches of time. That said, it just isn’t always possible to be at home for every nap of the day, especially if your babe is still pretty little and taking 4-5 naps a day. I suggest sticking to the 80/20 rule: aim for 80% of your child’s daytime sleep to happen at home, in their own crib or bed, and don’t worry about where the other 20% takes place. This sleep might happen in the car, stroller, swing, or carrier, and that’s perfectly okay.
Stick to an early bedtime
Setting an early bedtime for your little one will also help avoid overtiredness. From 3-4 months until about the age of 13, children need approximately 12 hours of nighttime sleep. This allows their brains and bodies adequate time to rest and rejuvenate and do the important work that happens during sleep. This includes muscle repair, memory consolidation and release of hormones regulating growth and appetite. Getting enough sleep at night affects our ability to concentrate and take in new information during the day.
Having an early bedtime allows your kiddos to get that long, consolidated 12 hour stretch of sleep at night and avoid overtiredness. It also gives you the opportunity to have time for yourself in the evenings, which is very important for parents. When you’re busy with kids and work all day, having a few hours on your own at the end of the day can have a huge impact on your own emotional well-being.
Watch for tired cues
Being aware of your child’s tired cues plays a big part in making sure they get the rest they need. Tired cues can often be misinterpreted as hunger cues, so it’s important to keep a careful eye on your babe, but also on the clock. Newborn babies can only handle about 45 minutes of time awake before they need sleep, and that amount of time increases with age. This isn’t a lot of time, especially when you factor in a diaper change, feed, and play.
Signs that your child is tired and ready for sleep include:
Rubbing their eyes, nose, or face
Yawning
Arching their back
Tugging on their ears
Staring off into the distance
Turning away or becoming less interested in you/play.
Overtiredness is bound to happen to all of us at some point in our lives, including our children. Life happens, and there will be times you can’t avoid getting overtired, like jet lag, shift work, birthday parties, travel, and special family events. Do your best to respect daytime sleep, stick to an early bedtime, and watch for your little one’s tired cues, but also make sure you find space to enjoy your life and the people in it. And if you’d like some support balancing all of that, I would love to help.