How to Create a Sleep Sanctuary

Discovering you’re going to be a new parent includes a range of emotions, such as excitement, gratitude, anxiety, fear, and joy.  These feelings show up for most new parents, regardless of the journey you take to build your family.  Many families celebrate their newest member even before they arrive, with baby showers, diaper parties, and of course, preparing a room for your child.

I’m going to share something with you today that might surprise you.  Your design choices could negatively impact your child’s sleep and you might not even know it.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the glossy magazine spreads of high end nurseries, or spend hours scrolling on Instagram and Pinterest to search for the perfect accessories for your little one’s room. It’s important to remember that the main purpose of that bedroom you’re building is a safe and comfortable place to for your child to sleep.  Your baby won’t appreciate the hours you spent pouring over paint samples, hunting down the perfect light fixture, or designing a custom mobile to hang over their bed.  What your child wants and needs is a room that is conducive to sleep.  Infants, toddlers, and even older children need approximately 12 hours of sleep each night because they are so very busy learning, growing, and experiencing the world around them during the day.  At night, their brains and bodies need a calm, peaceful place to rest and rejuvenate to prepare for the next day.

Follow my tips for creating a sleep sanctuary and you’ll have a room that you both love.

Tip 1: Go dark

 If you open a home décor magazine these days, you will see lots of beautiful light, bright, airy rooms.  I love curling up in our kitchen nook with a book while the early morning sun streams in, but I certainly don’t feel like sleeping while I’m there.  The same is true for your baby.  Babies sleep best in rooms that are absolutely pitch dark, and contrary to popular belief, babies are not afraid of the dark.  They’ve spent 9 months in the womb, where it was dark all the time and they felt safe and comfortable. 

Our brains control our circadian rhythm, which is essentially an internal clock that cycles between wakefulness and sleepiness at regular intervals during a 24 hour period.  Light and dark have an impact on this clock; when our eyes see darkness, they send a message to our brain that it’s time to feel tired, and the pineal gland secretes melatonin in response.  Melatonin is a naturally occurring hormone that promotes sleep.  When you put your baby to sleep in a room that’s dark, it supports the production of melatonin and encourages sleep.  Melatonin production is suppressed with exposure to light, and your baby may have a tougher time getting to sleep in a bright environment.

When I suggest a dark room, I mean can’t-see-your-hand-in-front-of-your-face dark.  Avoid nightlights and bright white lights.  Invest in a lamp with a soft, yellow bulb, and install blackout curtains or blinds that completely block the light coming in from outside.  These blinds are my favourite for home and travel.  And in a pinch, garbage bags taped to the windows just fine!  Of course you won’t find that décor tip in any of the magazines, but it certainly does the trick.

Tip 2: Make it quiet(ish)

In most homes, not everyone goes to sleep at the same time as the youngest member of the family.  Adults and older children are often awake later at night and especially during daytime naps and we make noise at these times.  We go up and down stairs, close doors, turn on the dishwasher and the washing machine, make meals, sing, laugh, talk, and listen to music.  Our homes also have their own regular noises, like the furnace kicking in or the doorbell ringing.  Outside there are dogs barking, sirens going, and traffic speeding by.  All of these noises have the potential to wake your baby, especially during their lighter stages of sleep.

While you don’t want your child to become accustomed to absolute silence for sleeping (that really isn’t sustainable in most homes), you do want to create an environment that promotes sleep.  Many babies and children (and adults) can benefit from a white noise machine, which simply emits a consistent noise.  Often it’s the sound of rain, wind, or the waves, and it does a great job of masking all those other environmental noises you can’t control.  White noise won’t help your baby sleep, but it will mask those outside noises that may cause wake-ups.  For children who are hypersensitive to noise, investing in good quality earplugs to block noise rather than mask it can be very helpful. 

My favourite white noise machine has recently been discontinued, but there are many different models on the market. If you choose to use white noise, I recommend find a machine that can be left on continuously and can either be plugged in or use batteries. 

Tip 3: Keep it simple

As tempting as it is to fill your child’s room with light, colour, and sound, you risk making their room so stimulating and exciting that they won’t want to sleep there; they’ll be too busy looking around and taking everything in.  There are lots of ways to create a beautiful space just for your little one without putting their sleep at risk. 

When we were getting a room ready for our babe, I spent many happy hours on Pinterest, looking at perfectly co-ordinated nursery bedding and décor.  And you know what?  None of my ideas made it into his nursery.  Your child’s crib, bassinet, or bed should be a calm, relaxing, safe place they associate with going to sleep.  This means keeping their crib or bed safe and free of distractions, including bumper pads, pillows, blankets, mobiles, and toys.  Both Health Canada and the American Association of Pediatrics recommend only a firm mattress and a fitted sheet in the crib. 

If your child is over 12 months and able to safely use a small, light blankie, lovie, or stuffie, this can be a great cue for sleep, especially when kept in their bed or crib.  If your child’s room is also a place where they play during the day or keep other toys or books, just make sure they’re not stored in the crib or bed.  A mobile that is hung over the change table instead of a crib is a great distraction during diaper changes, and no distraction at all during sleep.

Tip 4: Stay cool

Many new parents (myself included) are concerned about their babes being warm and cozy during a nap or through the night.  I was never really sure what a good temperature was for sleeping or how to dress my little guy for the night. 

Most sleep experts recommend keeping your child’s room between 20-22°C or 68-72°F and avoid overheating your child in too many layers.  Many new babies benefit from a safe swaddle until about 4 months of age, or until they can roll.  I recommend using a sleep sack after a swaddle; it’s safe, lightweight, and keeps your babe warm, but not too warm.  My favourite sleep sacks are made by The Gro Company  and are available in many different shops in Canada and around the world. 

Tip 5: Keep it calm

 Many children, particularly older children, love the play in their rooms during the day.  It’s often a space in their homes they think of as their own, and it’s filled with their most precious belongings.  Let your kids enjoy their rooms during the day by playing with toys and games, joking, laughing, and all the other weird and wonderful things our kids’ imaginations can come up with.  During the hour before bedtime, put those things away and make their room a calm, quiet, soothing environment.  This sets the tone for sleep and helps your child relax after a full day.  This doesn’t mean silence; I encourage you to do stories, snuggles, and songs with your babe during this period.

Go ahead and enjoy the time you spend creating a room for your newborn baby or with your older child, and keep my tips in mind.  They’ll help you design a room that both you and your kids will love and help you all get a good night’s sleep.